Top Christmas present for the paranoid on your list: Just One Eye;s $12,500 Ulysses Tier 1 Disaster Relief Kit, seen here,
In case of emergency, break out the big bucks for this package, designed in consultation with a former Navy SEAL for the fashion-forward fallout shelter.
If you expect your New Year to hold disaster, whether an earthquake, tornado, hurricane, terrorist attack or plain old extended power outage, this one's for you - or could be if you have a someone who loves you enough to save you with the very best.
Inside are items to sustain you (a water purifier and nutrition bars), protect you (pepper spray and a holster - as a red-blooded American, you're probably already armed) and get you powered up day and night (solar panels and hand-cranked lighting). A satellite phone will let you reassure your fans that you're not quite ready for the "In Memoriam" section of the next awards show.
There are more than 50 items altogether. The Ulysses is a survivalist's dream: night vision goggles, sleeping bags, a flashlight, helmet, binocular and gloves, a solar/crank radio, an emergency beacon and tons of tools - plus of course batteries - all housed in a rolling, waterproof case. A reassuring touch of luxury comes from a cashmere blankie.
For you maltie-poo or puggle, a mere $500 adds in the pet essentials package.
Since batteries comprise my entire survival kit -and since the apocalypse is looking increasingly likely - I'm putting this on my wish list. Come on, Santa, put a little future-proofing in my present!