Build a Theme Bong
Don’t Play with Fire
Word to the wise: when some dude yells, “Do it again, man!” - DON'T.
Halloween Pet Costumes
New puppy training method: Dress them up as Princess Leia and Darth Vader and make them sit still while you shoot video of them.
Nutty Halloween Neighbors (Videos)
These houses make great videos, but not so great neighbors.
Perfect Theme Song
Welcome Home!
So This Is What Halloween Looks Like!
Extreme Costumes (Videos)
Sexy Halloween Costume Guide
What's the best Halloween costume for a woman to wear? Well, that depends. How sexy do you want to be? No, you're not thinking hot enough. How about asking this guy for some guidance?
Dick's Inappropriate Halloween Costume Shop
Don't you hate all those people who try to be edgy and offensive by wearing inappropriate costumes each Halloween? You know, that guy who went as Osama Bin Laden in 2001? Here's a costume shop for them!
Halloween Costume Surgery
A more permanent approach to the annual dilemma of what to wear for Halloween.
Halloween Costumes: 60s Vs. 80s
Two women with no ego problems debate the best era for Halloween costume development.Halloween Costume Advice
A self-proclaimed Halloween expert relives some memories and offers unnecessary advice.
Politically Incorrect Halloween Costumes
French maid? Sexy nurse? Penis head? All cliche and politically incorrect, but not flat out creepy the way these 69 are. (Yes, I'm sure they chose that number with care!)
Halloween in L.A.
In Los Angeles you can celebrate Halloween all year round. There's the fabulous Hollywood Forever cemetery - home to both Johnny and Dee Dee Ramone, Rudolph Valentino, Fay Wray and "Alfalfa" from the Our Gang comedies - which is hosting Ozomatli on Dia de los Muertos! There are plenty of other spooky spots, too: Check out this custom-designed tour.
Black Friday Sales
It's never too early to start planning for Black Friday mayhem. Believe it or not the Black Friday ads are starting to trickle out; more will be posted as they are available.
Southeastern U.S. discounter Fred's has a 45-item Fred's Super Dollar Black Friday ad along with a 4-page Fred's ad. Their Black Friday sale starts at
5am and is one-day only. The four released pages represent pages 17-20
of the Fred's advertisement.
Let's hope when we see the word "doorbusters" it doesn't actually mean Black Friday crowds will actually be breaking down the doors to get inside. But it wouldn't be the first time Black Friday caused in-store breakage.
Harbor Freight has a 35-item Black Friday ad and a 4-page ad.
Worth noting: Harbor Freight is letting their Inside Track Club members ($30/yr for membership) enter the store a full hour before regular customers (6am vs. 7am). Hope this does not become a trend among other stores!
Worth noting: Harbor Freight is letting their Inside Track Club members ($30/yr for membership) enter the store a full hour before regular customers (6am vs. 7am). Hope this does not become a trend among other stores!
"It's Almost Not Quite Halloween"
It's the most wonderful time of the year: no holidays yet! Nice to know that I'm not alone in thinking Thanksgiving can be hellish. According to Christina Applegate on SNL, here are things to be happy about: "No decorations, no cards, no weird family tension. And not every single thing tastes like pumpkin." Sigh. It's bliss time!
Black Friday 2011 (Videos)
It wasn't just about one pepper spraying incident. At Walmarts around the country - and one deadly Target - Black Friday really was dark.
A Skewed Look at Valentine's Day (Videos)
Dating Losers
Vintage clips from a video dating service. Even in the '80s these guys must have looked dated...although it's unlikely they ever did. Some of the most unintentionally hilarious material ever recorded.
Love Hurts
Watch out for cupid's arrows.
Worst Valentine's Day Gifts Ever
Flowers were hurt in the making of this video, when really it should have been her man.
Love Is the Drug
The dark side of love: chemical imbalance, mental strain, addiction and depression!
Happy Chinese New Year!
I have a dear friend who is a qi gong master and a devotee of Chinese Astrology. She informs me that one's Chinese astrological sign is not just an animal (such as today's New Year of the Dragon) but also an element: fire, water, etc.
I looked into it and learned that I was born in the year of the Rooster and that my element is Fire. How hellish is it that my astrological sign is a burning cock!
I looked into it and learned that I was born in the year of the Rooster and that my element is Fire. How hellish is it that my astrological sign is a burning cock!
Drunk for the New Year
It’s a new tradition: recording drunken and humiliating behavior on New Year’s Eve, then posting it for all the world to see. Most are hilariously funny – but only to other drunk people. There’s lots of yelling, slurring, puking, falling down and showing of undergarments. The most innocuous statements – “my foot hurts” – generate peals of laughter. Hellish Holidays culled through way too many dreary ones to come up with the best of the worst.
Her resolution: Match.com.
Lindsay Lohan in about 10 years.
This woman can’t even get out of her house to celebrate.
She’s…hornier.
Reasons to quit - as if the above weren't enough.
Her resolution: Match.com.
Lindsay Lohan in about 10 years.
This woman can’t even get out of her house to celebrate.
She’s…hornier.
Reasons to quit - as if the above weren't enough.
I’m Still Here: A Follies Homage
I recently saw Follies on Broadway. "I'm Still Here" captured a certain era so perfectly, and I thought it would be fun to update. I idolize Sondheim (not to mention Stritch, Paige, Burnett and the others who have done the song proud), so this is done out of respect and love.
Hear the original, by Stephen Sondheim, sung by Elaine Stritch, here.
Good times and crap times,
They’re all on my blog, so it’s clear
I'm still here.
Chanel bought at retail,
Sometimes a Target souvenir
But I'm here.
I've shopped at Goodwill
For used pants
Offered phone sex
To buy implants
Watched TMZ kill my career
But I'm here.
I've slept in shelters,
Funded by donors I knew
But I'm here.
Danced on the pole –
My thong only slightly askew
But I'm here.
I've taken handouts
With celebrities’ kids,
They were ironic,
Me, on the skids
In the Recession was I recessed?
Nowhere near.
Banged a Facebook engineer
So I'm here.
I've been through the recount,
Monica’s blue dress post-grope
And I'm here.
Tea party crazies,
The demise of Change and Hope
But I'm here.
I got through Full House,
SNL’s decline,
File-sharing, emoticons
Kim Kardashian’s behind
Witnessed NASA fade
Pluto degrade
The lost frontier
Lived through two rounds of O.J.
And I'm here.
I've gotten through Bushes 41, 43
The best part was when those years ebbed
Jeez, what a dynasty – not!
On your knees, vow “No Jeb!”
Made a guest appearance
on “Reno 911,” then “The Hills”
And I’m here
Not always coherent
But it paid for my cannabis refills
And I’m here
Been called elitist
By bitter have-nots
Got through it while pissed
On my yachts
I should sign up as a Housewife,
That seems clear.
Still, I made it through crises dubbed midlife
So I’m here
Louboutin one day,
Next day it’s in Decades Two
But I’m here
Top billing Monday
Tuesday Gawker asks “Who?”
But I’m here
Through my own show
I once strode,
then a guest on Law and Order,
then a webisode
The posse still lingers but shrinks
Every year
I’m writing an e-book – it’s “content”!
And I’m here.
I live with tourists snapping cell phone photos
Then asking who I once was
And sometimes, “You remind me of someone
Didn’t she used to have buzz?”
Good times and crap times,
They’re all on my blog, so it’s clear
I'm still here.
Chanel bought at retail,
Sometimes a Target souvenir
But I'm here.
I’ve had a blast
And seen it all
Auctioned my past
Held them in my thrall
The internet said I’d died last year
But I’m here.
Hell, I was there
And I’m here
Yeah, it’s me!
I’m still here!
© 2011 by Laura Foti Cohen
They’re all on my blog, so it’s clear
I'm still here.
Chanel bought at retail,
Sometimes a Target souvenir
But I'm here.
I've shopped at Goodwill
For used pants
Offered phone sex
To buy implants
Watched TMZ kill my career
But I'm here.
I've slept in shelters,
Funded by donors I knew
But I'm here.
Danced on the pole –
My thong only slightly askew
But I'm here.
I've taken handouts
With celebrities’ kids,
They were ironic,
Me, on the skids
In the Recession was I recessed?
Nowhere near.
Banged a Facebook engineer
So I'm here.
I've been through the recount,
Monica’s blue dress post-grope
And I'm here.
Tea party crazies,
The demise of Change and Hope
But I'm here.
I got through Full House,
SNL’s decline,
File-sharing, emoticons
Kim Kardashian’s behind
Witnessed NASA fade
Pluto degrade
The lost frontier
Lived through two rounds of O.J.
And I'm here.
I've gotten through Bushes 41, 43
The best part was when those years ebbed
Jeez, what a dynasty – not!
On your knees, vow “No Jeb!”
Made a guest appearance
on “Reno 911,” then “The Hills”
And I’m here
Not always coherent
But it paid for my cannabis refills
And I’m here
Been called elitist
By bitter have-nots
Got through it while pissed
On my yachts
I should sign up as a Housewife,
That seems clear.
Still, I made it through crises dubbed midlife
So I’m here
Louboutin one day,
Next day it’s in Decades Two
But I’m here
Top billing Monday
Tuesday Gawker asks “Who?”
But I’m here
Through my own show
I once strode,
then a guest on Law and Order,
then a webisode
The posse still lingers but shrinks
Every year
I’m writing an e-book – it’s “content”!
And I’m here.
I live with tourists snapping cell phone photos
Then asking who I once was
And sometimes, “You remind me of someone
Didn’t she used to have buzz?”
Good times and crap times,
They’re all on my blog, so it’s clear
I'm still here.
Chanel bought at retail,
Sometimes a Target souvenir
But I'm here.
I’ve had a blast
And seen it all
Auctioned my past
Held them in my thrall
The internet said I’d died last year
But I’m here.
Hell, I was there
And I’m here
Yeah, it’s me!
I’m still here!
© 2011 by Laura Foti Cohen
How to Get Attention in New York
The Anti-Defamation League entered the fray when a billboard advertising vodka claimed "Christmas Quality, Hanukkah Pricing." They got it taken down quickly, but claimed they were comparing the single day of Christmas to the eight nights of Hanukkah - hence the bargain. What do you think?
A Very Musical Thanksgiving (Videos)
Turkey Survival Anthem
Doing It Sandler-Style
Gobble, Gobble
The Poultry Rapper
The Thanksgiving Eating Challenge (Videos)
Thanksgiving Pie Eating Contest
America's top competitive eaters see who can stuff the most pumpkin pie into their mouths in a Thanksgiving Day pie eating competition. Pumpkin pie is one of the toughest competitions, with a thick dry crust and a deep heavy filling. Eric "Badlands" Booker took the title, eating four whole pies and three eighths in just six minutes.
Thanksgiving Dinner With a Side of Soap
The challenge this Thanksgiving: holding down dinner for at least three minutes after finishing it.
Thanksgiving Turkey Eating Contest
On Thanksgiving Eve, an emaciated woman beat seven plus-size men at a turkey-eating competition in New York City.
Thanksgiving Soda Challenge
The best part: he doesn't like to drink out of the bottle! What's next, a little umbrella and an extended pinkie?
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