Showing posts with label New Year's. Show all posts
Showing posts with label New Year's. Show all posts
Drunk for the New Year
It’s a new tradition: recording drunken and humiliating behavior on New Year’s Eve, then posting it for all the world to see. Most are hilariously funny – but only to other drunk people. There’s lots of yelling, slurring, puking, falling down and showing of undergarments. The most innocuous statements – “my foot hurts” – generate peals of laughter. Hellish Holidays culled through way too many dreary ones to come up with the best of the worst.
Her resolution: Match.com.
Lindsay Lohan in about 10 years.
This woman can’t even get out of her house to celebrate.
She’s…hornier.
Reasons to quit - as if the above weren't enough.
Her resolution: Match.com.
Lindsay Lohan in about 10 years.
This woman can’t even get out of her house to celebrate.
She’s…hornier.
Reasons to quit - as if the above weren't enough.
Auld Lang Syne, the Hard Way
Happy New Year! Check out these various renditions of the holiday classic.
Nothing Like a Bomb Threat to Screw Up New Year's Eve
A story contributed by Steve (who usually works behind the scenes here):
I was closing out 2008 with a pleasant week snowboarding in Snowmass, Colorado. Many evenings we would go into nearby Aspen for a nice dinner but we figured that we'd stay away from the crowds New Year's Eve and just hang out in our condo. My son had other ideas and said we just had to do something "New Year's Eve-y". Little did we know that this was not to be a typical New Year's Eve, in Aspen at least.
To my son's credit he did his research and discovered that there were fireworks scheduled over the slopes above Aspen at 8:30pm and midnight. We bundled up, got into our rental car, and headed over to Aspen, about 20 minutes away.
When we arrived, flashing lights of police cars and fire trucks could be seen at a few intersections. This didn't immediately concern me since I'd read how the Aspen police force would be out in force quelling any bar fights and looking out for underage drinking. We soon learned that these would be the least of the police force's concerns.
A friendly but professional policewoman was the first to inform us of the bomb threats made at two Aspen banks earlier that day. As the bomb squad dealt with the bombs, the most popular section of downtown Aspen was completely evacuated. What started as our quest to see explosions in the sky quickly turned to a desire to get our butts away from any explosions on the ground. We hightailed it back to our condo where we followed the story's progress on the web.
Unfortunately, the bomb threat was real and four gasoline bombs were discovered and safely detonated by the bomb squad. New Year's Eve is Aspen's second busiest night of the year (after the Fourth of July) so the evacuated businesses and workers took a major hit in lost revenue and tips. Fortunately, no one was hurt and the town of Aspen carried on and put on their fireworks shows on New Year's Day evening. This was my first New Year's in Aspen so I have nothing to compare to, but I suspect the New Year's night revelers were even more raucous during the fireworks. In the back of our minds we all knew we had dodged a bullet (or bombs, as it were).
I was closing out 2008 with a pleasant week snowboarding in Snowmass, Colorado. Many evenings we would go into nearby Aspen for a nice dinner but we figured that we'd stay away from the crowds New Year's Eve and just hang out in our condo. My son had other ideas and said we just had to do something "New Year's Eve-y". Little did we know that this was not to be a typical New Year's Eve, in Aspen at least.
Detonated bomb fragments at Steve's feet, with Aspen Mountain ski area in background
When we arrived, flashing lights of police cars and fire trucks could be seen at a few intersections. This didn't immediately concern me since I'd read how the Aspen police force would be out in force quelling any bar fights and looking out for underage drinking. We soon learned that these would be the least of the police force's concerns.
A friendly but professional policewoman was the first to inform us of the bomb threats made at two Aspen banks earlier that day. As the bomb squad dealt with the bombs, the most popular section of downtown Aspen was completely evacuated. What started as our quest to see explosions in the sky quickly turned to a desire to get our butts away from any explosions on the ground. We hightailed it back to our condo where we followed the story's progress on the web.
Close-up of detonated gift-wrapped bomb fragments
New Year's Resolutions
I've never been big on New Year's resolutions. I mean, why make promises I won't keep? How will I learn to trust others in this heartless world if I can't even trust myself? And I can't trust anyone who can't keep a New Year's resolution for even one stinking week. Which is a milestone I was never able to achieve.
It's like Lent. Back in the days when I tracked these things, I knew when Lent was coming and planned accordingly: no dessert for 40 days. Because I always look for the silver lining, I'd like to believe that my failure at Lent helped hone the skills of bending rules and lying to myself at which I'm so successful today. Hey, I finished dinner an hour ago, so this is a snack, not dessert.
Nora Ephron, my guiding light since her Esquire days in the '70s, has a much more practical approach to resolutions: she sets the bar really, really low. She resolves to eat more waffles, not read Proust and dump AOL once and for all. Wait, that last one has been proven to be virtually impossible. Well, the others seem attainable at least.
In her blog on huffingtonpost.com Ephron says: "I resolve to be a better human being this year, and that includes trying to remember the names of people I have just been introduced to." I'll try this one too! (I mean remembering names, not being a better human being.) I won't officially "resolve" it, because it's probably too hard for me to pull off. I'm famous for gazing cluelessly at people I've known for decades when expected to make introductions. But I'll try to implement one of those memory tricks you always hear about, like visualizing something that the name reminds you of. If only I met people named "Cindy Schnozz" or "Handsome McEyelashes" the name game would be a lot easier.
Anyway, in perusing videos about New Year's resolutions this past week, I've been alternately impressed and horrified at the things people resolve to do or not do, just because the annual calendar is adjusting by a digit. If you want to look better, find a mate, get organized, improve your vocabulary or make more money, why wait? Or, to argue the other side, if you didn't care enough to do it the other 364 days of the year, what makes now so different?
I guess my fatalistic attitude is that we are who we are, so let's not kid ourselves. If we do decide that a new year is cause for a new body/relationship/job, that doesn't mean we have to get all official about it, posting videos and telling the world about our current failings and longed-for future improvements. A few well-placed Post-Its on the fridge or bathroom mirror can help keep motivation up any time of year. And it's a lot less embarrassing if you haven't gone public with a resolution when December rolls around and nothing's changed.
It's like Lent. Back in the days when I tracked these things, I knew when Lent was coming and planned accordingly: no dessert for 40 days. Because I always look for the silver lining, I'd like to believe that my failure at Lent helped hone the skills of bending rules and lying to myself at which I'm so successful today. Hey, I finished dinner an hour ago, so this is a snack, not dessert.
Nora Ephron, my guiding light since her Esquire days in the '70s, has a much more practical approach to resolutions: she sets the bar really, really low. She resolves to eat more waffles, not read Proust and dump AOL once and for all. Wait, that last one has been proven to be virtually impossible. Well, the others seem attainable at least.
In her blog on huffingtonpost.com Ephron says: "I resolve to be a better human being this year, and that includes trying to remember the names of people I have just been introduced to." I'll try this one too! (I mean remembering names, not being a better human being.) I won't officially "resolve" it, because it's probably too hard for me to pull off. I'm famous for gazing cluelessly at people I've known for decades when expected to make introductions. But I'll try to implement one of those memory tricks you always hear about, like visualizing something that the name reminds you of. If only I met people named "Cindy Schnozz" or "Handsome McEyelashes" the name game would be a lot easier.
Anyway, in perusing videos about New Year's resolutions this past week, I've been alternately impressed and horrified at the things people resolve to do or not do, just because the annual calendar is adjusting by a digit. If you want to look better, find a mate, get organized, improve your vocabulary or make more money, why wait? Or, to argue the other side, if you didn't care enough to do it the other 364 days of the year, what makes now so different?
I guess my fatalistic attitude is that we are who we are, so let's not kid ourselves. If we do decide that a new year is cause for a new body/relationship/job, that doesn't mean we have to get all official about it, posting videos and telling the world about our current failings and longed-for future improvements. A few well-placed Post-Its on the fridge or bathroom mirror can help keep motivation up any time of year. And it's a lot less embarrassing if you haven't gone public with a resolution when December rolls around and nothing's changed.
Hellish New Year's Eve Contest Entries
Here are the entries in our Hellish New Year's Eve contest. The contest is over now, and the winning entry was submitted by Dawn Bennett. Dawn won a Pure Digital point-and-shoot video camcorder for her story about unrealized expectations and a hellish nighttime trek through mud.
Dawn's entry:
My most hellish New Year's Eve took place a few years ago with a (now) ex boyfriend who had an obsession with fox hunting. We didn't have any big plans, which I was already disappointed about. At around 8p.m. he asks if I want to go fox hunting. I seriously convinced myself that this must be some attempt on his part to cover up a big romantic gesture for New Years!! He was going to surprise me! Maybe with a moonlight proposal!!
Now fox hunting can only be done at night and best in a field at the edge of woods. Well, it had rained all day, so the field was quite muddy. I was a good sport and trudged through the mud for hours just waiting patiently for my romantic midnight surprise. Needless to say, it never came. Fox hunting really was all he had in mind for New Year's Eve! And as for my surprise, well...I was a little surprised when he actually had the nerve to yell at me for tracking mud in his truck!! What an idiot. He didn't get a fox. I didn't get a ring. And we broke up a couple days later. Happy New Year!!!
We thank our other entrants for their hellish memories:
From Rosanne
I was having a small get together one New Year's eve and my girlfriend's husband's band was playing that night at a local club. My girlfriend said that she would stop by on her way to the club. Well she did stop by at around 8 o'clock (before the invite) but she also brought her children (2 and 4) with her. She said that she had to run to get some equipment to bring to her husband and would I watch the kids for about an hour. Needless to say she showed up at 4am. So I had to throw this party with 2 whiny kids who would not go to sleep and everyone left early and I had to stay up and wait for her. Bad start to the New Year.
From Linda
In 1978 I had orders to report to Washington state. Had to drive from Colorado and was a bit nervous. Contacted an old flame and he offered to help me drive out. He flew in and we set off. Though I was to go to Washington, I hadn't been to San Fransico so we decided to try and make it there for New Year's Eve even though we could only stay a few hours.
We did arrive in SF on the night of New Year's Eve, and decided to drive over the Golden Gate Bridge. It was so foggy that I couldn't even see the guide rails of the bridge, let alone any scenic view. We decided to try and find a place to eat, but everything was packed. We located one establishment that seemed empty and we felt lucky. We sat down and settled in for a nice dinner. The waiter arrived and stated "unfortunately, the kitchen was closed." No meal for us. We went to the wharf area and the fog prevented me from seeing anything at all. We found a lounge with live entertainment that managed to seat us. After approx. 15 minutes, the comedian stood up, told a quick joke, turned around, bent down as though he were picking up his banjo, then dropped his pants, mooning the audience. Embarrassing!
So, we drove 500 miles out of our way. Didn't get to see any of the sights in SF, couldn't get anything to eat and was MOONED!! To this day, I wonder what San Fransisco looks like!
From Jean
Back when I was in high school, there was a creepy guy who was interested in me. I did nothing to encourage his interest. Surprisingly, he hung out with a pretty cool crowd. Maybe the fact that his family had money helped him make friends with these guys, because it didn't make sense otherwise.
So when he invited me to a New Year's Eve party at his house, I accepted, thinking I would have a chance to get to know one of his more appealing friends. I should have been suspicious when he said he'd pick me up, but since I didn't have a car, I did need a ride.
When we got to his house, I was horrified to discover his parents were out and there were no other guests! No, they weren't late, he simply had not invited anyone else. As soon as I figured out he was using the supposed "party" as an opportunity to get me alone, I told him I was feeling ill (and believe me, I was) and insisted he take me home immediately. He may have told his friends something happened between us, but he knew better than to speak to me again.
From Kim:
My worst New Year's Eve was when I was 21. I was finally legal to go out and party. Woohoo! I had been dating a guy for two weeks. We had gone out twice. He invited me to go out on New Year's Eve. I bought a new dress and shoes. I looked very nice. The lodge we went to was very crowded and I didn't know anyone there, so I was a little shy. We danced and had fun until about 10:00. Then he got down on one knee....
You see where this is going? I started shaking my head no, asking him "Don't do this." He proposed to me in front of dozens of his friends! I had to tell him no. I barely knew him. Needless to say we didn't last until midnight and he never asked me out again.
From Karen:
I dearly loved my friend, Carol, and we had gone out partying on New Years, 1972. We were having lots of fun and meeting new people when Carol said she was leaving. She said she'd meet me back at my house (She had the key). When I returned I found Carol had slit her wrists in my bathroom. Luckily, she was still alive but I just couldn't believe it was my friend's blood all over the bathroom. After the paramedics took her to the hospital and I was sure she was going to be find I had to face telling her parents. What a hellish evening. She got the help she needed after that.
From Jessica:
My most Hellish New Year occurred the year after I turned 21. We got directions to a much hyped house party and were excited to get there. We needed to make a beer run, so the rest of the group went ahead and we were to meet them later at the party. The directions were bad and we got lost.
We pulled over to look at a map and as we did fire trucks raced past us.
We couldn't find the party so we followed the fire trucks to the scene of the fire. We watched as some strangers holiday loot went up in smoke.
Luckily we had a cooler and each other, but it still really sucked.
From Sandy:
My worst New Year's Eve ever was back in the 60's (yes, I'm that old). It started off just fine, lots of friends, great music (love those Doobie Brothers and CCR), and, of course, smoke & booze. Well, guess I over-did it, cuz don't remember most of the night, have no idea how I got home (my roomates couldn't remember either) but hope we didn't drive - but probably did. But I guess I just hope we ALL had a good time, just can't remember!
Dawn's entry:
My most hellish New Year's Eve took place a few years ago with a (now) ex boyfriend who had an obsession with fox hunting. We didn't have any big plans, which I was already disappointed about. At around 8p.m. he asks if I want to go fox hunting. I seriously convinced myself that this must be some attempt on his part to cover up a big romantic gesture for New Years!! He was going to surprise me! Maybe with a moonlight proposal!!
Now fox hunting can only be done at night and best in a field at the edge of woods. Well, it had rained all day, so the field was quite muddy. I was a good sport and trudged through the mud for hours just waiting patiently for my romantic midnight surprise. Needless to say, it never came. Fox hunting really was all he had in mind for New Year's Eve! And as for my surprise, well...I was a little surprised when he actually had the nerve to yell at me for tracking mud in his truck!! What an idiot. He didn't get a fox. I didn't get a ring. And we broke up a couple days later. Happy New Year!!!
We thank our other entrants for their hellish memories:
From Rosanne
I was having a small get together one New Year's eve and my girlfriend's husband's band was playing that night at a local club. My girlfriend said that she would stop by on her way to the club. Well she did stop by at around 8 o'clock (before the invite) but she also brought her children (2 and 4) with her. She said that she had to run to get some equipment to bring to her husband and would I watch the kids for about an hour. Needless to say she showed up at 4am. So I had to throw this party with 2 whiny kids who would not go to sleep and everyone left early and I had to stay up and wait for her. Bad start to the New Year.
From Linda
In 1978 I had orders to report to Washington state. Had to drive from Colorado and was a bit nervous. Contacted an old flame and he offered to help me drive out. He flew in and we set off. Though I was to go to Washington, I hadn't been to San Fransico so we decided to try and make it there for New Year's Eve even though we could only stay a few hours.
We did arrive in SF on the night of New Year's Eve, and decided to drive over the Golden Gate Bridge. It was so foggy that I couldn't even see the guide rails of the bridge, let alone any scenic view. We decided to try and find a place to eat, but everything was packed. We located one establishment that seemed empty and we felt lucky. We sat down and settled in for a nice dinner. The waiter arrived and stated "unfortunately, the kitchen was closed." No meal for us. We went to the wharf area and the fog prevented me from seeing anything at all. We found a lounge with live entertainment that managed to seat us. After approx. 15 minutes, the comedian stood up, told a quick joke, turned around, bent down as though he were picking up his banjo, then dropped his pants, mooning the audience. Embarrassing!
So, we drove 500 miles out of our way. Didn't get to see any of the sights in SF, couldn't get anything to eat and was MOONED!! To this day, I wonder what San Fransisco looks like!
From Jean
Back when I was in high school, there was a creepy guy who was interested in me. I did nothing to encourage his interest. Surprisingly, he hung out with a pretty cool crowd. Maybe the fact that his family had money helped him make friends with these guys, because it didn't make sense otherwise.
So when he invited me to a New Year's Eve party at his house, I accepted, thinking I would have a chance to get to know one of his more appealing friends. I should have been suspicious when he said he'd pick me up, but since I didn't have a car, I did need a ride.
When we got to his house, I was horrified to discover his parents were out and there were no other guests! No, they weren't late, he simply had not invited anyone else. As soon as I figured out he was using the supposed "party" as an opportunity to get me alone, I told him I was feeling ill (and believe me, I was) and insisted he take me home immediately. He may have told his friends something happened between us, but he knew better than to speak to me again.
From Kim:
My worst New Year's Eve was when I was 21. I was finally legal to go out and party. Woohoo! I had been dating a guy for two weeks. We had gone out twice. He invited me to go out on New Year's Eve. I bought a new dress and shoes. I looked very nice. The lodge we went to was very crowded and I didn't know anyone there, so I was a little shy. We danced and had fun until about 10:00. Then he got down on one knee....
You see where this is going? I started shaking my head no, asking him "Don't do this." He proposed to me in front of dozens of his friends! I had to tell him no. I barely knew him. Needless to say we didn't last until midnight and he never asked me out again.
From Karen:
I dearly loved my friend, Carol, and we had gone out partying on New Years, 1972. We were having lots of fun and meeting new people when Carol said she was leaving. She said she'd meet me back at my house (She had the key). When I returned I found Carol had slit her wrists in my bathroom. Luckily, she was still alive but I just couldn't believe it was my friend's blood all over the bathroom. After the paramedics took her to the hospital and I was sure she was going to be find I had to face telling her parents. What a hellish evening. She got the help she needed after that.
From Jessica:
My most Hellish New Year occurred the year after I turned 21. We got directions to a much hyped house party and were excited to get there. We needed to make a beer run, so the rest of the group went ahead and we were to meet them later at the party. The directions were bad and we got lost.
We pulled over to look at a map and as we did fire trucks raced past us.
We couldn't find the party so we followed the fire trucks to the scene of the fire. We watched as some strangers holiday loot went up in smoke.
Luckily we had a cooler and each other, but it still really sucked.
From Sandy:
My worst New Year's Eve ever was back in the 60's (yes, I'm that old). It started off just fine, lots of friends, great music (love those Doobie Brothers and CCR), and, of course, smoke & booze. Well, guess I over-did it, cuz don't remember most of the night, have no idea how I got home (my roomates couldn't remember either) but hope we didn't drive - but probably did. But I guess I just hope we ALL had a good time, just can't remember!
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