Thanksgiving Stabbing

This is 47-year-old Jack-Lyn Blake of Wilkes-Barre, PA. According to The Smoking Gun, on Thanksgiving she fell asleep after some heavy drinking. When she woke up to find her boyfriend had started eating without her, she allegedly stabbed him in the chest. (I say allegedly, but apparently she had no problem admitting it to the responding officers.)

I don't know whether I'm more disturbed by the stabbing or the name Jack-Lyn.

Thanksgiving Dinners Weirder Than Yours (Videos)

Mashed Potato Fight on Thanksgiving

OK, so this one guy wouldn't give this other guy his phone back? So the other guy throws mashed potatoes at the first guy? And then it, like, escalates? Who says you need to go home to have a fight on Thanksgiving? Caution: language alert.

No Need to Dress for Dinner...

Looks like Great Grandma came straight from the pool to the table.

Sleep-Eating

It's the children I feel sorry for.

The Same Old Things

Another Thanksgiving
drunk in the kitchen, post-turkey
exhausted from family time
“Alice's Restaurant” playing on the radio.
(Damn, that song is long.)
Why can't we spend holidays with friends?
Then we wouldn't fight over:

showing up late
bringing a loser
setting the table
saying grace
carving the turkey
bored with the bird and I thought we were going with Honeybaked this year
cheesy decorations
watching too much football
Iraq and Republicans and let's not fight about the election
not eating enough vegetables
white meat is healthier than dark or is it the other way around?
the freakin' Pilgrims
out of wedlock still means something to me
washing the dishes
the same old things

The same old things.
They should be reassuring.
It should put me at ease
that some things don't change
but I'm down on my knees
praying we stop
going round and round
with the same old things.

Originally published November 16, 2007